In the 90s, the term “Pat,” was used to describe a person who was androgynous, and as the Pat movement grew, more attributes were ascribed to what a Pat was until there was a consensus that everyone had when they heard the name. The next name on the chopping block is “Karen”. And although I feel sorry for anyone who has to bear the stereotype by actually being named Karen, it exemplifies a character-type that can be amusing, but also not amusing at all, in some respects. So how do you know when you are being a Karen?
What is a “Karen” and When are you Being a Karen?
A Karen is usually a basic white woman who takes authority one-step too far. She thinks that she is entitled to talk to people as if they are beneath her. Karen drives a large SUV, at any speed she deems appropriate. And if you get in her way, you are bound to get run over. School zone, stop signs, and crossing warnings, don’t apply to her. Why? Because she is Karen Dammit! Being a Karen is not a good thing, it is a way of disrespecting those around you and thinking that laws, rules, and general rules of decency don’t apply to you. So, if you see any of these 9 signs you’re being a “Karen,” it is time to check your privilege and come down and join the rest of us in the real world!
Don’t get Shook – 9 Signs You’re Being a “Karen”
1. You’ve Gone to the Same Hairdresser for Decades
It isn’t that you particularly like your hairdresser, I mean she is totally beneath your social strata; you have to stay with her. Your haircut is so dated that no one would even feel good about cutting your hair for fear that others would find out that they did something like that to someone.
2. Calling you “Ma’am” is Tantamount to a Racial Slur
Karen isn’t going to be labeled by your chauvinistic display of respect, so don’t put your baggage on her. If you call her maám, she will just assume you are being rude and immediately call for your manager to discuss how disrespectful you’re being.
3. Your SUV Wasn’t Big Enough – You Had to Put on Bigger Tires
Traffic is for people who aren’t important and don’t need to get where they have to go. Karen knows better. She can’t be slowed by traffic lights, stop signs, or irritating “slow for children” posts. When she has somewhere to go, you best get out of her way – after all, she is so much more important than you. Her ginormous size tires are just there to intimidate and send a signal to get out of her way – she’s coming through.
4. Soccer Isn’t a Sport it is a Religion
The original soccer mom, nothing is as important as Karen’s child’s soccer games. Forget homework, dinner is on the go, and weekends are for nothing but practice, travel, and games, games, games. She has a cooler packed full of bottles of waters – no juice please, that is bad for your teeth, goldfish (even though her kids are in high school), and her chair is always packed and ready to go to set out with her air horn to acknowledge her child. Why? Because they are so good they are going to, well… I don’t know, what does a soccer player play these days after high school?
5. You’re Middle-Aged and You are Proud
A Karen isn’t going to let you put your fashion on her. She is just fine with her dated hair, past generation glasses, and a clothes style that is from decades ago. Hey, if it looked good on her twenty years ago, then it should still translate, right?
6. Being a Karen means that act so White you are Translucent
I am not trying to be racial, but according to Karen characteristics, you are caucasian. Not that there is anything wrong with it, but it is the white privilege that you carry, which allows you to act the way that you do. You are the original basic white bitch who never stopped talking down to everyone, wearing your North Face, and has no interest in lightening the hell up!
7. Your Car Has Enough Food on its Floor to Feed a Small Country
You live out of your car traveling with the soccer greats. So eating on the go is a must. And you don’t have time to clean out your car – and anyway leaving things around means snacks for later. You can’t be pushed into getting a new “high-falutin” car for you; it is all about having enough room. When you hit something going down the road, duct tape is the only answer. Not to mention, you have railroaded so many things in your road combat, that your insurance is out of control. Fixing your car isn’t a thing, who cares anyway?
8. The Bigger the Hair – the Smaller the Butt
Karen believes that if she wears her hair high, it distracts from the size of her butt. So the bigger, the better. That also pertains to the size of your dress. If you wear one that is way too big, and more like a tent, then no one can decipher what is lurking under the material. I hate to break it to you Karen – it doesn’t work like that.
9. You can Find a Problem With Anything That is Off-Putting to you
Karen is the woman who is all upset about wearing a mask. It isn’t her responsibility to keep everyone else safe; they should take care of themselves. And she knows that her dog is completely nice and trained, so she doesn’t care about leash laws at the park. The rules that don’t make sense to her, don’t apply to her. And if you call her out about it, step back, because you are going to get the wrath of Karen!
I usually don’t subscribe to calling people names, in fact, it is super not nice. The problem with someone who is being a “Karen,” is that they are not being nice – so I am calling you out. You don’t get to walk around being pre-pissed, thinking that everyone is intentionally trying to make you mad, or that people are around to absorb all of your bad behavior.
The good news is that you don’t have to be a Karen, regardless if that is really your name or not. Everyone has it in their soul to make changes to be better. It isn’t a real thing that people don’t change. I would guess you weren’t born ordering people around or insisting to talk to a manager; you just got used to getting your way. So if you just stop getting shook, check your privilege, and find the happiness inside that you are missing that makes you walk around upset all the time, you can turn this around. You know why? I believe in you Karen! #beBetterbeBella.
