It seems like everywhere you go, there is always someone that has to be a little more difficult than necessary. And in the tense world we are living, it is easy to become frustrated with them and get heated. But here are some great hacks to help you navigate how to deal with difficult people.
I don’t know anyone who isn’t difficult at certain times, whether it is because they are having a bad day, or just woke up on the wrong side of the bed. But for some people, being difficult is a way of life that they just never seem to shake. For the perpetual hard to get along with personality style, it can be frustrating to get along with difficult people and not lose it.
Learning How to Curb Someone’s Difficult Nature
We all know that one person who has to make a big deal out of the smallest issues. And they find fault and problems with everyone and everything. Unfortunately, at some point, you have to have interaction with them and learn how to curb their difficult nature.
The one thing that I learned from dealing with someone who is just a negative Ned is that you won’t win by shouting them down, arguing with them, or getting upset – in fact, it almost seems to bring out their obstinate nature more. If you play their game, keep your cool, and try to let things slide, the situation should go a whole lot smoother than if you take your stand.
How to deal with difficult people
If you can learn to roll with it and let it roll off of your back, dealing with difficult people is pretty easy.
Breathe easy
When you feel your blood beginning to boil or your adrenal rear up when they become difficult to deal with, take a deep breath and breathe it out. Continue to breathe deep until you can calm down a bit. After you have regained your composure, approach them with a calm and clear head – that way you will be the better person.
Be empathetic
Difficult people typically have a reason why. And if you just assume they are doing it on purpose without seeing the layers behind it, it is easy to blame them and be upset by their nature. If you can stop and put yourself in their shoes and maybe look at what is going on externally for them, maybe you can try to see what is driving their unwillingness to just go with the flow.
Try to really listen
When people are difficult, it is easy to begin to just shut them out and discontinue a dialogue with them, or even to stop listening altogether. Try your hardest to really listen to what they are saying and maybe you can begin to understand how they feel. If you can better comprehend what is driving their difficult behavior, it might be easier to get underneath it and to find resolve.
Troubleshoot with others around them about how to deal with difficult people
Maybe other people are having the same issue, maybe they are not. But sharing your experience with others in the person’s life might help you to gain more perspective about why they behave as they do. Another person might have some insight that could add to your perspective.
Tell your side
Once you have heard their perspective, it is time to voice yours. Maybe they think that you are the one who is being difficult. If you tell them what you see from your end, honestly and openly, you might be able to find consensus and work better together.
Work to find commonality
We are all human and have interests, try to approach them in a more humanist way to find something that you can agree on and share. Invite them out after hours or to lunch so that you can get to know one another. If you develop a relationship, then the stonewalling and difficult nature of your relationship might change.
Anger is never a good idea
It is hard to let it go when someone is constantly putting obstacles in your way that are frustrating and seemingly needless, but reacting with anger is never a good idea. If you react with anger, you are likely going to get nowhere. In fact, it might lead to the situation escalating and getting a whole lot worse.
Know the goal of the conversation
A conversation with someone who is being difficult shouldn’t hone on and on. Know what the intention of your conversation is so that you can get to the point instead of going around and around. Stay on track and don’t allow them to switch the subject or get off target.
Not every tactic will work with everyone
Although difficult people share many of the same characteristics, they are not inherently the same across the board. So if you find a tactic that works for one difficult person in your life, it might not work for all. And every situation might need a different resolution for the same individual. So sometimes navigating can be hard, but stay with it, and maybe you can develop a “playbook” to follow when dealing with an individual that will make things go more smoothly.
Set boundaries
The best way to move forward is to be respectful of one another. If a person isn’t being respectful to you, you do have the right to establish boundaries of behaviors that are acceptable and draw a line in the sand. You might have an obligation to try to deal with a difficult person, but you don’t have to put up with any abuse from them.
Know when to cut the conversation cold
If the conversation gets to a point where it is no longer productive and you aren’t getting what you need from it, you will likely become heated and things will get off track. If you can’t deal with a difficult person, even after trying your hardest, then it might be time to cut the conversation and either talk with someone else about it or pull back and try again later before you get too upset.
Find a way to decompress
Now that you have finished your conversation with a difficult person and held your cool, it is time to decompress and find a way to release any pent up stress that you might be carrying. Try going for a walk, listening to your favorite music, or getting lost in a good book. The idea is to do something for yourself to reward your good behavior!
There will be times in life when you encounter difficult people and sometimes it is hard to know how to deal with difficult people. Just do what you can to get the answers you need without becoming angered or emotional. You have an obligation to try to get through to the difficult person. But in the end, it is not your responsibility to take any abuse from them. If you can’t get resolve it, it might be time to walk away and let someone else deal with them.
