If you haven’t heard of the “Turkey Dump,” as an adult, you have probably been the victim of it and maybe not even known. Or, it might be in your near future – so it is important to see the signs. Like other holiday traditions such as the fruit cake and grandma’s jello mold, the turkey dump is something that is unwelcome and will leave a poor taste in your mouth.
An analysis of Facebook uncovered that there are huge spikes in breakups right before Valentine’s Day, and then again before the holidays. So, as we near the holiday season, it is important to consider and perhaps prepare for these seven common reasons why people break up, which tends to taint the holiday spirit.
Signs you are Heading Toward the Turkey Dump
1. Holiday Stress Can Bring Things to a Head
Couples experience periods of stress on their own at different times throughout the year. And, typically, when one partner is having a rough go of it, the other can be there to calm things down and help them destress. During the holidays when you have to deal with their family, or your family, or things in general, stress tends to magnify and push those things that were pulling you apart, to the brink.
Like a bottle that has been building collectively throughout the year, the holidays can shake it up. And then, all the little things that have been bothering you can explode and push you to make the break that you might have been unconsciously trying to overlook.
2. Heightened Levels of Expectations
Along with the holiday spirit rising, so does the expectation levels that most of us have. The holidays only come but once a year, so, therefore, we want them to be super special and memorable. But that can put a lot of expectations not just on special days, but on where your relationship is at.
When your expectations are high or higher than your partner, it can lead to a lot of fighting or tension that can result in making the break. Many couples find that they are on different pages emotional and ready-wise. And if your expectations are extremely different than your partners; it might make you realize that it just isn’t meant to be.
3. Saving Money
It might sound completely ridiculous that someone would break up with another person simply so that they don’t have to get them a Christmas gift. But there is more to it than that. If you are already thinking that a person is not your forever human – it can lead to you questioning why you would want to invest in a gift for them.
Also, it might make you consider that getting them a gift would be unfair if you don’t really feel that way about them anymore. It also isn’t just about one gift, if you have shared enough time together, there are gifts abound attached to the person you are with. Gifts for their family, or their friends, can start to add up and make you evaluate how you feel about how much it will cost monetarily and emotionally. And you might decide that the break up might be a no-brainer to save you all the way around.
4. Meet the Parents?
If you have not been prepared to introduce your significant other to your parents for one reason or the next, it is a make-or-break-it time during the holiday season. Although you might have been able to get away with saying your family doesn’t live close by and you don’t see them that often, that all flies out the window for the holiday get-togethers.
But inside, you know that introducing your family will take your relationship to a whole new level that you might not be ready or prepared for. If you were already having reservations about the meet, there is probably a reason behind it. And that reason might be the catalyst to break before any introductions can happen and change things for you and your relationship irreparably. Parents can definitely be a contributing factor to the turkey dump!
5. Having Family Around Can Give you Courage
Breakups are the worst, whether you initiate them or not. So people often continue to carry on a relationship longer than they want to just because it is easier to go along than to suffer the eventual consequences.
For someone who has been thinking that maybe a relationship is already nearing the end, the prospect that the next month or two will bring an abundance of family and friend fun-time grants courage to make the break without as much suffering or hardships. And if you like the person you just aren’t in love with anymore, then you might see it as a potential win for you both emotionally.
6. Sentiment and Future
The holidays are built on the notion of family and spending time with the people you love. It is also a time to reflect on things that are super important in your life. During the holidays, many people begin to evaluate where they stand emotionally with the person they are dating.
And if they feel as if things aren’t where they should be, or that something is missing, those feelings are usually unveiled as you become drunk on the sentiments of the holiday spirit. Many couples realize that their relationship just isn’t what they think it should be or what they want it to be.
7. New Years Resolve
New Year, new you, right? Although statistics tell us that nearly 90% of all New Year’s resolutions fail before February, that doesn’t mean that most people don’t give it a valiant try. If you have been unhappy in a relationship for a long time, but unable to make a clean break, New Year’s is the perfect do-over time. Like quitting alcohol or losing some extra pounds, New Year’s Eve seems like a perfect time to shed a relationship that doesn’t work for you, or going where you want it to be for the long year ahead.
Are You Heading for the Turkey Dump?
The holidays are a time of sentiment and love, but for some couples that isn’t a good thing. Although the season brings on a slew of separations, it isn’t really the holiday’s doing. Those things that we tend to look past in our relationships can’t be ignored when stress is high or we have long-term goals and the future staring us in the face.
But the good news is that the Turkey Dump is something that can be positive if you choose to focus your time on friends and family instead of the heartbreak you might feel. The New Year is right around the corner. So, now is the time to commit to being a better version of you, albeit maybe single, but embrace the change and look on the positive side – life will go on and so will you to find the right relationship for your happily ever after.
