As time goes on in a relationship it almost seems like you have less and less things to talk about. Okay, I take that back, it seems like you have less fun and insightful things to talk about. If it feels that you are stuck in discussing only the mundane things like bills, housework, and kids; it’s easy to lose the connection you used to share, when sharing. When you first got together, conversations were centered around getting to know one another, you values, your childhoods – and then suddenly there was a lack of substance. The good news is that with some coaxing you can not only bring back connecting with your partners, these questions to ask your significant other will help you form a deeper and more lasting bond.
Questions to ask your significant other
Where do you see yourself in five years?
When you first met, you told each other what your dreams and aspirations were for the future. But as time changes, so do the things that we dream about and want. Make sure that you still know what drives your partner. And also that you know what it is that their future looks like. Your job as the significant other is to help your partner grow and flourish by encouraging them to be their best self.
What things about our relationship make you happiest?
It is easy to focus on the mundane things that you both have to do in a relationship. But if you knew what made your significant other happiest, then it would be easy to incorporate it into your routine. Often, we think we know when our partners are happiest and what they want, but we miss the boat. By knowing what makes their heart sing, you can play their tune more frequently to bring the joy into your union.
If you could change one thing about yourself what would it be?
Being in a relationship is all about challenging one another to be the best version of ourselves. Asking your partner what they would like to change about themselves is a great way not only to understand how you can foster their growth, but also to get them thinking about what it is that they would like to alter. Maybe you will spark some creativity that will bring about some great change for you both.
If you could change one thing about me, what would it be?
I know, it is hard to believe that you aren’t everything that he needs. But it never hurts to listen and pay attention to what your partner would like to see differently in you. Maybe he wants you to be a little soften with your complaints, or he would like you to unleash the vixen that you have hidden. It never hurts to ask how you can be a better partner for the one you love. The only way to find out is to use these questions to ask your significant other checklist!
What turns you on most in bed?
After a while, it almost becomes a “been there, done that,” type scenario in the bedroom. Make sure to turn him on and find a new way of connective sexually by finding that thing that really makes him go wild. Couples change and so do their desires. And as you grow closer, there might be things that he was embarrassed to ask for or talk about at the beginning. As you grow deeper and develop a sense of trust, you can open up to one another and bond in a more intimate way.
Is there anything that you would like for us to learn or do together?
All work and no play makes for a very dull relationship. Find out if there is something that they have always wanted to learn about or do. Maybe they have a secret desire to learn to dance, or they have an inner artist that they want to unleash. Finding something that you two can do together, just the two of you, will bring you closer together and also will be time that is allocated to you two sharing.
What does your perfect day look like?
If you could open your eyes one morning and have the perfect day, what would that look like? I mean dream big, you can be at the beach, you could be in the mountains… Ask him about what he would do with his perfect day, who is there, where he is. It might give you some insight into what he desires and what bliss looks like.
If you could go anywhere on earth where would it be?
Sure, you have probably talked about traveling, but have you gone into questions about where he would like to go, if he would go anywhere on earth? It might not be realistic, but if you find out where on earth he dreams of being, you might just be able to devise a plan someday to make his imaginary getaway a real thing.
If there was one thing I could take off of your plate what would it be?
I am sure there are days when you have chores to do that you just don’t feel like doing, but they are kind of mandatory. What if someone were to take that one thing off of your plate if only for a day? Be the one who takes the burden off of his shoulders and crosses one thing off of his list. It is always nice when you can share your burdens with the one you love.
What is one thing that is missing from your life right now?
Life will never be perfect – well probably not for very long. Is there something missing in your partner’s life that you are unaware of? There are times when we don’t know what it is that our significant other wants and is not getting out of their daily existence. If there is something they feel is missing, help them to grow and find it with him, or encourage him to find it alone, either way know what it is.
If we could change one tradition or add one to our life, what would it be?
When yall got together you came with traditions from your past. Likely, you have altered some of them along the way to accommodate your significant other, and they might not always be what your partner wants. Ask if there is something in their childhood that they miss about the holidays, or even rituals performed in their home growing up every day. You never know, you might find some really cool things that will bond your entire family through sharing through these questions to ask your significant other.
Has anything changed about me since we met that you miss?
We aren’t really ourselves when we meet romantically. At first, there is the person that we want someone to see and the things that we want to keep under wraps. When you are falling in love, there are also ways we go out of our way or things that we do to try to make one another happy. With a mortgage, full-time jobs, the real world, and sometimes kids, we let those things that used to brighten each other’s day fall by the wayside. Maybe he used to love the way that you looked at him or smiled at him. Ask if there is something that he fell in love with that is still there, but it’s been a while since you let him see it.
What is the scariest dream you have had lately is one of the best questions to ask your significant other
Our dreams are usually a reflection of our unconscious reality. Scary dreams usually are things that stay with us long after our restless night is over. If you can find out what is the scariest dream he has had lately, you might uncover some hidden fears that he is carrying in real life and help him to overcome those fears. Dreams are not just dreams – they typically stem from what our brains are secretly ruminating over.
Is there anything you feel is missing from our relationship?
Maybe he wants more “him” time with you or maybe he isn’t getting enough bedtime alone with you. It is as easy as asking what your partner feels is missing. If you open the door to some truth, then it becomes really easy to fulfill those parts that your partner might feel are lacking in the foundation that you share.
As a relationship progresses it can become increasingly more difficult to find things to talk about and share outside of the mundane nature of your daily life. These questions to ask your significant other are an excellent way to open the door for better and more profound communication in your relationship. You might just find that what you thought you knew, is completely off base and that making him happy is easier than you think.
