Being single is totally fine when you have other people to hang with. In fact, I would guess to say that for many, your single days are the ones that you look back with fondness upon. But then something happens as you grow and mature. Suddenly, single life just doesn’t seem what it used to, especially when everyone is pairing up around you. But what is the only single friend syndrome and is it really a thing?
After a while, if you aren’t able to find someone to complete you; it can start to feel like there’s something wrong with you. Take heart, there is nothing wrong with waiting to find the right Mr. or Mrs. Right. You aren’t on anyone else’s schedule, even though it can feel like it. And if it makes you feel any better, many coupled partners wish that they had the freedom that you do right now to make your life all that you want it to be.
Only Single Friend Syndrome – Are You Suffering From it?
So instead of wondering about being the only single friend; take the time to shine, do everything you want to before you are weighed down by responsibility, and complete you, completely all by yourself. That way, when the right person does come along you will be independent and strong and want someone in your life, but not in need of someone. And those qualities make for the happiest and most fulfilled relationships with others.
Being the Only Single Friend
It can sometimes feel very lonely being the only single friend. But remember this… there are many, many people out there who are in relationships who are just as lonely as you, if not more so. And finding yourself partnered with someone who doesn’t seem to notice or care about you is worse. At least when you are single, you have your prospects open to find the person who makes you feel happy, safe and fulfilled.
Think about all the people in your life who complain about their relationships and how unhappy or irritated they are by their partner. Although the grass might seem greener, there is no reason to be green with envy of others who are in relationships where there is nothing but a warm body and someone to lay next to at night. Life is about more than that; it is about finding that one person who “gets” you, protects you, and cares as much about you as they do themselves.
Instead of Seeing Being the Only Single Friend as a bad Thing – see it for these 15 Fabulous Ones!
1. You own the Remote Control
Being in a relationship means that you have to have a bit of give and take. But typically when it comes to the remote, it is a constant battle to get to it first. When you are the only single friend, you own the remote, solely on your own – binge watch away! Rainy day, sunny day, day or night, you can tune out watching what you want, not what someone else chose.
2. You get to Make Your Own Schedule
Although it might seem like you have a lot of “alone” time on the weekends when everyone else is off doing stuff, when you are a part of a couple, most of the time you are just alone for the ride. You don’t have to go to the Christmas party and pretend that you like small talk. And you also don’t have to go to their cousin’s wedding in Michigan. You can be as selfish with your time as you like, say no to any engagement that doesn’t sound stunningly fun, and make your calendar as full, or empty, as you want it to be,
3. You Don’t Have to Put up With Anyone’s Shit
When you are in a relationship, you have to learn to forgive, forget, and look past the dirty underwear sitting on your bathroom floor. And when those things get to be super unattractive, it doesn’t matter, you are committed. When you are the only single friend in the group, you get to date around.
If someone is getting your nerves, find someone else. You don’t even have to go home with the person you came with, if you don’t want to. You aren’t in a hurry to tie yourself down, so date as much as you want, don’t commit too soon – enjoy your freedom.
Stop Being the Only Single Friend! It is much easier to continue to be friends with the same group of people that you have been forever. It is also very comforting to not have to be outside of your element or extend yourself to find other people to hang out with. But if you are tired of being the only single friend in the group, make new friends.
It is much more fun, sometimes, being in a crowd of people who are in the same Lifestage as you. That doesn’t mean that you can’t still hang out with your besties, it just means that you should foster your personal growth by being more outgoing and putting yourself out there to meet people who are single and want to have fun.
4. Eat What you Want and When you Want
When my husband is on a trip, the best thing of the entire time he is gone is that I can lay in bed with my frozen pizza, my bag of potato chips and a glass of wine and have my own little one-man party. What you don’t realize when you are single is that you do what you want and whatever pleases you without fear of reprisal or judgement.
That is a pretty awesome feeling. And instead of feeling like you are alone, consider the fact that you aren’t ever alone if you have you. Learn to enjoy those things that you are all about you making choices all by yourself. And mark my words, if you do find someone to share your bed with, you are going to miss waking up with pizza sauce on your nightstand!
5. Do Fun Things All by Yourself
I am not someone who is very good at being alone, but I am so envious of others who can sit at a restaurant and eat alone, or who goes to the movies and sits front and center with nothing but a box of popcorn. Don’t take yourself out of life because everyone else seems to be hanging out with their plus one.
Try new things all alone, go to the spa, get a massage, just keep yourself busy. By the time you get home at night, you will be too worn out to care that you are solo. You have no idea how much energy it is to try and entertain someone when you just want to hit the bed. You don’t have to answer to anyone, if you’re tired, the dishes can wait – hit the sack, guilt-free.
6. Watch Very, Very Carefully
Sometimes what your friends say about being happy and what they really are, varies greatly. Instead of seeing that everyone is coupled and has someone, take a look under the hood. Are they smiling and engaged with their significant other? Do they seem to enjoy one another’s company?
Do they get super irritated with one another easily? How do they talk to each other? If you take away the smoke and mirrors and look up close and personal is that your friends might not be enjoying being a couple as much as they tell the world that they are.
No relationship is perfect, of course. But people stay in them for the wrong reasons sometimes. So just know that you aren’t settling by being with someone who doesn’t make you 100% happy.
7. Be the Entertainment
I know, I hate dating sites too. But I will say that the single friends that I have are absolutely hilarious. I don’t really get to experience many new things in my day to day routine.
When you date around, or are on a dating site, there is a large level of entertainment value in what goes on. If you can see dating as a thing that is supposed to be fun and memorable, then it becomes more entertaining not just for you, but to everyone you can share your funny and awkward dates with.
Don’t Think of Being Single as a Syndrome – Count all Your Blessings!
Although being the only single friend in your group can seem like a very lonely place to be, the reality is that some of your coupled friends might be secretly wishing they had the freedom that you do. You get to do what you want, when you want. No one owns you or tells you what to do and you are beholden to no one.
So instead of looking at single life as a curse, look at all its blessings. You have the rest of your life to find that one person who makes your heart, sing, or maybe you won’t.. who cares. As long as you care for yourself, make you your best friend, and do all the many things that the world has to offer, you are missing out on nothing.
Being single is a very freeing time in life with the potential that is boundless – so take solo life by the reigns and soar until or if at a time, you want to be grounded with someone else at your side.
